I read something today that really struck a nerve. “Everyone wants a powerful woman until you start dating her and realize you have to step up your own shit.”
This has been my life up to this point. I find it interesting that men will appear and want to hang with you and are OK with you doing your own thing, until it threatens them. Once they realize you are not going to wait for them to collect themselves and you drag them along, that is when the control sets in. I so am not bashing men by any means at all I am just curious if other women have experienced this. Most of the women in my circle have, but I have surrounded myself with amazing powerful women.
The men with the exception of one, have enjoyed me being successful. But it just seems as though one day a light comes on and things change. They happen ever so slowly with me, to the point I really don’t even realize what is happening, until it is too late and I am suffocating. Once I reach this stage, its hard to turn back. For example, husband 1.1 bought me a phone back in the day and said he purchased it so he could always reach me. Hmm, are you thinking what I am thinking? Really, always reach me? That is a hard no! Those of you that know me, I hardly ever answer my phone unless it is my wonderful children. Other than that….text me.
Husband 2.1 would say to me, “OK, I guess I will see you when I see you?” Hello, that is straight up guilt and control. When did relationships become so controlling and suffocating. I need to be free and live in a random world and have always said, when the fun leaves…..I leave!
It is interesting my two sons have mentioned to me that they may not choose to marry, as I am part of the number 2 club and their father seems to continually ask permission from his 2.1 wife. Am I wrong? I don’t think this is what marriage or a relationship is about. I thing it is about freedom , love, respect, and loyalty. I love the phrase….you do you and ill do me and then we will do us! Bingo!
The man I am currently with, is encouraging, supportive, and above all, lets me be me. He is not threatened by who I am . Lets be real…..I am 6’2 and blonde and can turn any head when I walk into the room. That is power baby! Oh God, I think that was my ego that took over my fingers for a hot second. Anyway, it is important to be with someone that allows you to be you without feeling as though a blanket is coming over your head to suffocate you. For me, I am as loyal as the day is long, unless you give me reason not to be.
I also thing it is very important for each person to have their own circle of friends. By the way, can we agree, it speaks volumes about a person and their character if they have maintained friendships for years and years. My longest friendships are from first grade. I will never choose to have a relationship with a man that does not have his own circle of friends. This only breeds discontent and I do not want to be someones be all end all ever again. I cannot ever loose myself again.
With that, we have the power within ourselves to be all we choose to be! Every morning I wake up, I visually put on “MERO” cape so no matter what, as I walk through my day, I am my own super hero and can be a super hero to someone else! ~Shirene